I'm jewish, my late wife wasn't. We were together for 30 years, she's been gone for seven.
She had a complicated, love/hate relationship with Christmas, which always made her uptight and anxious.
Every year, we went to her parents house (in Andover, half an hour or so away from us) Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas day. In later years, when her parents started spending winter and then finally moved to Florida, these events took place at her brother's house in Methuan. These family events, which didn't phase me at all and I thought were pleasant are what brought out her anxiety....she loved Christmas as a celebration of life, and she loved Christmas music. NOT I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause, but from the 15th and 16th centuries.
When I met her, she was, along with me, an agnostic atheist type (I've never really defined what I am). But later, she joined a church, and was devoted to it, on and off. Sang in the choir (dissaponted that they didn't sing gregorian chants.
Last few years of her life, with her father no longer coming up from Florida, we spent Christmas at home, doing "Jewish Christmas": going to a movie (or watching at home) and getting take out from a Chinese restaurant.
Those moments are great memories of a woman who I miss every day. I still put a wreath on my front door in honor of her....she liked to put a wreath on our door, then one year, this woman, who normally only liked "real" things bought an artificial, aluminum foil sort of wreath and horrid artificial bright, lime green. So i went and bought a real one, and having been doing so every year since.
Your memory piece struck deeply as my father died when I was 13 - older than you but still before kids get the opportunity to examine their parents as humans rather than "mom and dad." We are given an model for what the holidays should look like and it isn't mine. Lives are crooked things.
Lovely work , Ty! Unfair while someone is apparently cutting onions over here. That morning rush to the tree, approved only after multiple “go back to bed it’s 4 in the morning!” from weary parents, might have been different (maybe a little more violent) for 6 boys, but it sounds very similar! Enjoy your multi-holiday present day, my friend!
I have a siblings photo that looks just like that! I lost my father when I was 11 and my 3 siblings were younger. Sadly, I don’t have the warm Christmas memories of him as you do. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you for such a lovely glimpse into your memories of your family growing up, Ty.
As I grow older I find the holidays more and more difficult. My early memories are warm and loving, it's as time marches on things begin to rust and corrode, not quite so glittery and twinkly and bright. I am not alone in these feelings and need to find another lens to make the holidays less painful and sad. Enjoy your time with your family and continue to hold them close in your heart. Merry Christmas.
Thank you for sharing your Christmas memories and photos, Ty. My cousin and I just got off the phone after sharing the same Christmas stories we retell every year about large family gatherings at our grandparents house in the 1950s through mid 1960s. We always feel their presence in the retelling.. Shades of Christmas past. Wishing you and your family a Merry Little Christmas🎄🎶
Just like Adam, Jewish and lost my father at 13. Like Ty, still refer to him as Daddy. What I missed then - his presence - differs in part from what I additionally miss now, the opportunity to share his history and that of previous generations. I now so much more appreciate his unbelievable accomplishments and what they provided for me and our current family. Never thanked him for what I now realize.
How many times have I wished he could have known my wife and his grandchildren
When my parents got to Newton from Italy, they got a small apartment. I was born, my dad worked construction. They saved. They bought a house. And any money they could save was spent on Christmas gifts—for me. It took decades, but I stopped being the spoiled, selfish child and I could help dad when mom died and I was a decent son when he died a few years ago.
Lovely story.. I see a resemblance of your sisters to your daughters.. coincidentally this week I had a vivid dream with my dad who lived much longer than yours but is no longer with us. We were in a group and he reached over and laid his favorite Cuban coffee at the table. It’s called a colada and comes in a small styrofoam cup with lid and also has several small plastic tasting cups you share with others. It’s a Miami thing and appeared so realistic as a dream. Glad we are both thinking of our dads!💕💕
Ty- this is so beautiful. A gem of memory and a gift with such gorgeous writing. Love it and merry to you all. Josh
That is wonderful, Ty, thank you so much for sharing.
I'm jewish, my late wife wasn't. We were together for 30 years, she's been gone for seven.
She had a complicated, love/hate relationship with Christmas, which always made her uptight and anxious.
Every year, we went to her parents house (in Andover, half an hour or so away from us) Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas day. In later years, when her parents started spending winter and then finally moved to Florida, these events took place at her brother's house in Methuan. These family events, which didn't phase me at all and I thought were pleasant are what brought out her anxiety....she loved Christmas as a celebration of life, and she loved Christmas music. NOT I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause, but from the 15th and 16th centuries.
When I met her, she was, along with me, an agnostic atheist type (I've never really defined what I am). But later, she joined a church, and was devoted to it, on and off. Sang in the choir (dissaponted that they didn't sing gregorian chants.
Last few years of her life, with her father no longer coming up from Florida, we spent Christmas at home, doing "Jewish Christmas": going to a movie (or watching at home) and getting take out from a Chinese restaurant.
Those moments are great memories of a woman who I miss every day. I still put a wreath on my front door in honor of her....she liked to put a wreath on our door, then one year, this woman, who normally only liked "real" things bought an artificial, aluminum foil sort of wreath and horrid artificial bright, lime green. So i went and bought a real one, and having been doing so every year since.
Thank you for this remembrance and reflection, Ty. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
So resonant — thank you.
Love your writings about family and birds every bit as much as films. A merry Christmas to you, Ty. Elisha
Your memory piece struck deeply as my father died when I was 13 - older than you but still before kids get the opportunity to examine their parents as humans rather than "mom and dad." We are given an model for what the holidays should look like and it isn't mine. Lives are crooked things.
Lovely work , Ty! Unfair while someone is apparently cutting onions over here. That morning rush to the tree, approved only after multiple “go back to bed it’s 4 in the morning!” from weary parents, might have been different (maybe a little more violent) for 6 boys, but it sounds very similar! Enjoy your multi-holiday present day, my friend!
Nice tribute, Ty! May his memory be a blessing! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
I have a siblings photo that looks just like that! I lost my father when I was 11 and my 3 siblings were younger. Sadly, I don’t have the warm Christmas memories of him as you do. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you for such a lovely glimpse into your memories of your family growing up, Ty.
As I grow older I find the holidays more and more difficult. My early memories are warm and loving, it's as time marches on things begin to rust and corrode, not quite so glittery and twinkly and bright. I am not alone in these feelings and need to find another lens to make the holidays less painful and sad. Enjoy your time with your family and continue to hold them close in your heart. Merry Christmas.
Thank you for sharing your Christmas memories and photos, Ty. My cousin and I just got off the phone after sharing the same Christmas stories we retell every year about large family gatherings at our grandparents house in the 1950s through mid 1960s. We always feel their presence in the retelling.. Shades of Christmas past. Wishing you and your family a Merry Little Christmas🎄🎶
Just like Adam, Jewish and lost my father at 13. Like Ty, still refer to him as Daddy. What I missed then - his presence - differs in part from what I additionally miss now, the opportunity to share his history and that of previous generations. I now so much more appreciate his unbelievable accomplishments and what they provided for me and our current family. Never thanked him for what I now realize.
How many times have I wished he could have known my wife and his grandchildren
and where we are today.
Poignantly beautiful, Ty. Thanks for sharing it. Love to you and the fam, from your Southwest cuz.
When my parents got to Newton from Italy, they got a small apartment. I was born, my dad worked construction. They saved. They bought a house. And any money they could save was spent on Christmas gifts—for me. It took decades, but I stopped being the spoiled, selfish child and I could help dad when mom died and I was a decent son when he died a few years ago.
Lovely story.. I see a resemblance of your sisters to your daughters.. coincidentally this week I had a vivid dream with my dad who lived much longer than yours but is no longer with us. We were in a group and he reached over and laid his favorite Cuban coffee at the table. It’s called a colada and comes in a small styrofoam cup with lid and also has several small plastic tasting cups you share with others. It’s a Miami thing and appeared so realistic as a dream. Glad we are both thinking of our dads!💕💕